Ivy-isms

Why is it that kids are the masters of comedy? They don't even try, and yet, they come up with humor I could never dream of. Here's some of Ivy's recent material:

"Good night, Maren. Have good dreams about nice bad guys!"
and . . .
"I had good dreams last night!"
Me: "What were your dreams about?"
"Nice bad guys."
Should I be worried about a bad boy obsession coming on? We really can't figure out the nice bad guy thing.

"Grown-ups, girls, and boys talk. Babies, Mr. Noodle, and Mr. Bean not talk."
That just about sums it up.

Me: "Ivy, you shouldn't have done that. You just messed it all up, thank you very much."
"A welcome."
I need to remember that sarcasm doesn't translate to a two-year-old.

"Mommy have iPhone and iPad. When Daddy gets bigger, Daddy have iPhone and iPad too!"
Daddy finally got that iPad--and I think this comment drove him to it. Without it, he never would have been a self-actualized adult in Ivy's eyes.

Watching a video of a man messing up his house: "Hey! Try cleaning up!"
Ivy hates messes. Allow her into your house and she just might start organizing it for you. And, thanks to shows like Dora the Explorer, she seems to think people in the tv can hear her.

"One cup of sugar, one cup of cinnamon, one cup of the!"
"The" is one of Ivy's words that she can read. She spotted it on a "recicipe." I'm impressed that she knows that much about measuring cups and recipes at all considering how often I use them.

"Popcorn helps my boogers feel better."
"My boogers are stinky."
Ivy's boogers are strange and mysterious. They seem to have a life of their own.

Me: "Ivy, who do you love?"
"People."
Me: "So you love me?"
"Silly. Mommy not a people!"
Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense.

"Root beard"
Ivy's favorite soda.

"I want to watch mouse a twee!"
Ratatouille. Rat, mouse, it's all the same.

"You're a good mommy, Mommy. I love you a whole world."
She tells me at least once a day that I'm a good mommy. My ego likes it. And "a world" is the best she can express in words.

"Look, Shrek like Yoda!"
If you've seen this video, you know how much Ivy loves Yoda. Apparently being green and having big ears is all it takes to look like him.

"Grandma is too dizzy to come to my house."
Busy/dizzy confusion. She says this all the time about her grandma. People are going to start thinking Grandma's a drunk. Or that she has a serious case of vertigo.

Me: "Ivy, that was a stinky toot."
"No, Mommy, a nice toot!"
Okay then.

"You're a mommy. Mommies help with everything."
I suppose they do, don't they?

Ivy's going to be three next month. I'm going to miss this age. Please tell me that growing up won't change her too much. I don't know if I can live without her wit.